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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568603">To Bed A Death Eater</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/usignolo/pseuds/usignolo'>usignolo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adult Hermione Granger, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Consensual Non-Consent, Curse Breaking, Curses, Dark Magic, Drama, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Light Angst, Loss of Control, Loss of Virginity, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Penis In Vagina Sex, Porn, Porn With Plot, Post-Hogwarts, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Hatred, Sex, Smut, Spy Severus Snape, Teacher-Student Relationship, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Hermione Granger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24568603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/usignolo/pseuds/usignolo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world filled with desperation and doubt, you sometimes just need to devote yourself to ecstasy. SMUT</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>301</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Desperation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <strong>Disclaimer: I don’t own the “Harry Potter” book series. The story of “Harry Potter” is the property of J.K. Rowling, it is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.</strong>
</p><p>Background: This story takes place in the summer after the trio’s seventh year, at the height of the war. In this AU, Voldemort has not been defeated yet which means that Harry, Hermione and Ron never dropped out of school to hunt for horcruxes and therefore graduated on time. They (as well as most of the other Order members) now permanently live at Grimmauld Place, which acts as the base of the resistance against the dark side. The Battle of Hogwarts never happened, Dumbledore is still alive, and Snape is also still working as a double agent.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Before I reveal the reason for why I was forced to call this sudden meeting, I need everybody to take the oath. Nothing that is said here tonight can ever leave this room.”</p><p>The unusual sombreness in Dumbledore’s voice caused an audible murmur to go through the fairly sizeable crowd gathered around the table in the dimly lit kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. Nervous chatter filled the air as Hermione, Harry and Ron shot each other curious glances – it appeared as though their third meeting as official Order members was certainly going to be interesting.</p><p>“Ze oath?” Fleur questioned in her sing-song voice. “But we already took eet upon entering ze Order!”</p><p>“I am well aware of that,” said Dumbledore with a sigh. “But believe me when I say that this delicate situation warrants additional precautions to be taken. It is of the utmost importance that no one outside of the Order ever hears about this. In fact, if it weren’t such a dire and time-sensitive matter, I would not be bringing it up with any of you at all.”</p><p>Anxious mumblings went around the room as one by one, the members of the Order of the Phoenix pulled out their wands and vowed themselves to silence. It was only once the last person had been sworn to secrecy that the ancient wizard spoke up again.</p><p>“All right, Alastor,” muttered Dumbledore, wearily rubbing his temples. “Bring him in.”</p><p>All heads turned as the heavy door leading to the basement kitchen was suddenly thrown open rather forcefully, revealing two tall figures. One was that of scar-faced Mad-Eye Moody, his electric blue magical eye spinning around in its socket at rapid speed as he surveyed the room suspiciously. His left hand had a firm grip on the shoulder of a black-clad Severus Snape whose usually so snide facial expression was partially hidden behind a blindfold made of dark purple silk. There was a momentary dramatic pause, until – his claw-footed wooden leg audibly dragging across the floor – Moody forcibly guided the other man towards the empty chair at the head of the table as the stunned silence of all those present finally gave to hushed whispers.</p><p>“Severus?” McGonagall ultimately asked in clear disbelief once the spy had been rather ungainly seated by courtesy of a rough push. “What is going on? What is the meaning of this?”</p><p>Though he certainly must have felt the intense stares of all of their eyes practically burning into him, Snape’s lips stayed sewn shut. Slightly bend forward, his long, dark hair obscured most of his grim-looking face.</p><p>Sighing yet again, Dumbledore rose from his seat at the other end of the table.</p><p>“Earlier tonight, an unfortunate incident occurred at Malfoy Manor during which Severus inadvertently came into contact with a dark magic artifact,” he said, clasping his bony hands in front of him. “More specifically, we are talking about a dangerous, long-forgotten weapon which a group of Death Eaters originally created during the height of the First Wizarding War and which would have had disastrous consequences for thousands of people had it been used. Thankfully, Voldemort fell before they had the opportunity to do so.”</p><p>“Dark magic?” Remus frowned. “Are you saying he’s cursed?”</p><p>“Yes.” A barely stifled gasp could be heard coming from Arabella Figg, and Dumbledore gave her a sympathetic look before proceeding to say, “Luckily, Severus was able to immediately destroy the object before anyone else arrived at the scene. As its creators are long dead, this means that we won’t have to fear it in the future at least. However, the curse still had enough time to take effect. I have spent the last few hours trying to break it somehow, but all of my efforts sadly proved unsuccessful.”</p><p>Starting to slowly pace up and down, he continued, “The problem is that time is running out. There is an important Death Eater gathering set to take place tomorrow night, and it is crucial that the curse be lifted before then. Under no circumstances would it be possible for Severus to attend while still being under the influence of said artifact. Therefore, despite how much it pains me to do so, I see no other choice than to implore one of you to help.”</p><p>“Well, I could certainly give it a try if you’d like,” offered Gringotts’ very own Bill Weasley.</p><p>Giving him a tired smile, Dumbledore told him, “I’m afraid that the situation is a lot more complex than simply finding the correct counter-curse.”</p><p>“What do you mean, Albus?” said Dedalus Diggle queryingly.</p><p>“And what’s with the blindfold anyway?” a green-haired Tonks butted in.</p><p>“It’s old pure-blood magic,” Moody suddenly declared in his growling voice, causing everybody to look at him. He was still standing right next to Snape, almost as though he was afraid the younger wizard would all of a sudden attempt to make a run for it. “So old that its true origin is no longer known. A type of magic that hasn’t been used in generations. Coming up with the correct spell could take months, if not years. We don’t have enough time for that.”</p><p>Kingsley Shacklebolt tapped his foot in frustration. “Then how are we supposed to break it?”</p><p>“We cannot lift the curse, so we need to let it unfold!” Hermione blurted out before she could stop herself, blushing slightly in embarrassment when everyone shifted in their seats to stare at her.</p><p>“That’s right, Miss Granger.” Dumbledore nodded in agreement, unsurprised by her quick wit. “I’m sad to say that this is the only solution left.”</p><p>“That’s preposterous!” exclaimed Sturgis Podmore. “You said that it's dangerous! Are you suggesting that one of us has to sacrifice themselves?”</p><p>“To be clear, I am not asking anyone to give their life,” the Hogwarts headmaster hastily clarified. “It's not a deadly curse.”</p><p>“Then what is it?” pressed Harry, obviously growing more and more impatient with his mentor’s vagueness.</p><p>“We are talking about a sacrifice of a different nature. It’s –“ Dumbledore took off his glasses and blinked heavily. “It’s a very specific type of dark magic.”</p><p>“Albus, if I may?” Moody interjected, clearly sensing how much the older man was struggling for words. He got a relieved smile in response.</p><p>“Yes. Go ahead, please.”</p><p>Stepping forward, the grizzly-haired former Auror eyed his fellow witches and wizards coldly. “Then and now, Voldemort and his followers had one prime objective: to indefinitely remove Muggle-borns from the face of the wizarding world so that pure-blooded magic folk may rise again. Their secret weapon, which Snape so foolishly decided to handle, had one simple, yet devastating effect. Intended to be planted on unsuspecting Muggle-born wizards, it would immediately drive them insane at first touch – to the point where the Ministry would have no other choice than to admit they were a danger to society and thus needed to be permanently removed as a whole.”</p><p>“Insane?” George cut in with a gulp, throwing a cautious glance at Snape. “He doesn’t look insane to me.”</p><p>“At least not more than usual,” added his twin brother in a fairly incongruous cheeky manner.</p><p>Despite the obvious taunt, the Potions professor said nothing. Though beneath the table, out of anyone’s sight, his hands balled into fists.</p><p>Moody continued, “That’s because he’s wearing a blindfold. Were he to take it off right now, all chaos would break loose in here. The curse is only fully activated once the affected wizard lays eyes on a woman.”</p><p>“A woman?” said McGonagall with a pale face, suddenly looking as though she was about to vomit. “You don’t mean to imply …”</p><p>“A sex curse. Designed to make you go mad and have you fall victim to your most primal need; forcing you to violently ravish the first female you see until you reach release.”</p><p>A sudden coldness filled the room as no one dared to speak, completely blindsided by this revelation. Staring at each other with big eyes and open mouths, the members of the Order were thunderstruck.</p><p>It was Hermione who raised her voice first. Barely above a whisper, she hesitantly asked, “So what you are saying is that they were willing to let their wives, their daughters and their mothers be sexually abused and traumatised for life … just so that they’d have an excuse to kill off Muggle-borns?”</p><p>“In their eyes, it would have been but a small price to pay for absolute domination,” Dumbledore responded quietly. “However, I do not doubt for a second that most would have hidden their family members away safely behind closed doors while the world outside descended into complete pandemonium. It is my belief that their primary targets were half-blooded women and known Muggle sympathizers.”</p><p>“Albus,” interposed Mr Weasley, the normally so jolly family patriarch. “Please don’t tell me you’re asking one of our female members to, to –“ His voice faltered. He could not even bring himself to say it aloud.</p><p>“Alas, what other option do we have? It is vital to the cause that Severus attend the meeting. And by no means could we in good conscience simply set him on an unsuspecting victim.”</p><p>“Well, why can’t he just keep the bloody blindfold on?” Ron exclaimed.</p><p>“Language, Ron!” chided his mother, though her words lacked the usual might.</p><p>For the first time that evening, it was Snape who spoke up, and most jumped at his deep voice echoing off the walls, having almost forgotten about his presence.</p><p>“Should the Dark Lord realise that I have failed to take care of this … issue, I will undoubtedly be either tortured terribly – which would risk me losing control to the point of not being able to keep up the walls in my mind and therefore exposing the Order’s secrets – or I will simply be executed straightaway, which would mean losing the only direct intel we have. Rape is unfortunately an everyday occurrence for a Death Eater. My unwillingness to commit such a heinous act would not be taken kindly. It’s truly been a … mere coincidence that I have been able to avoid taking part in such atrocities thus far,” he explained coolly, his voice eerily void of any emotion.</p><p>Following a brief moment of what could only be described as stupefied horror, loud chatter erupted from all sides. Small groups of people were heatedly arguing with each other, their voices getting louder and louder, until –</p><p>“I’ll do it.”</p><p>Hermione’s sudden declaration was almost too faint to be heard, but it nevertheless had enough of an impact to bring everybody to an abrupt halt. Almost two dozen faces turned to her in shock, and for just a second, the kitchen was so quiet that one would have been able to hear a pin drop – and then the room exploded.</p><p>“What?!” someone exclaimed.</p><p>“No!” shouted another.</p><p>“OVER MY DEAD BODY!” Mrs Weasley roared, unleashing the full fury of her inner mama bear.</p><p>“Well, realistically, what alternative is there?” the young witch contended, her chin raised high in defiance. “Of the seven women here, four are married. And I don’t see any of the other single ones putting themselves forward. In any case, I know that I would prefer an ex-student over a colleague I’ll have for many years to come if I was in Professor Snape’s shoes.”</p><p>It was like her pointed remark had temporarily sucked the air out of the room again. Especially Minerva McGonagall and Hestia Jones – the only two other unwed women in attendance – had sheepish expressions on their faces.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Hermione continued. “If this is really the only means to break the curse, then I am willing to do it. There is no way that we can just send Professor Snape out on the streets to ravage the first person he sees. What if it ends up being a defenceless grandmother … or, Merlin forbid, a little girl?”</p><p>Her words led to another moment of uncomfortable silence.</p><p>“It’s undoubtedly very noble of you to volunteer,” Mr Weasley finally said in a soft voice, breaking the almost painful taciturnity. “But it’s not your place to offer such a thing, dear.”</p><p>She regarded him with great sadness in her eyes.</p><p>“Would you rather your wife or your daughter do it then?” she asked, and he simply looked at her aghast. For an excruciatingly long second, it seemed as though he was desperately searching for something – anything – to say in reply, but ultimately, he had to resign himself to remaining mum. The rest of the Order members merely looked at each other completely dumbfounded, clearly also not knowing what to say.</p><p>“This is ridiculous!” Harry yelled indignantly, practically exploding out of his chair. “Hermione, you cannot be serious! It’s Snape we’re talking about here!”</p><p>“Harry, I think that having relations with a former teacher is one of the least traumatic things I’ll be forced to experience during this war.” Silence – they both knew she was right. “Professor Snape has done so much for us, for the entire wizarding world. This is the least I can do – for him and for the Order.”</p><p>“Still, I don’t think –“</p><p>“Don’t. Please … just don’t. I’m sure that you would gladly take my place if the roles were reversed,” she interrupted him, a strange countenance of bitterness on her face.</p><p>“I won’t allow this!” Ron chimed in irately, his cheeks mottled crimson. “This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had! What if he knocks you up or something?”</p><p>“Allow it? You won’t allow it?! What in the world gives you the idea that you have any right to determine what I do with my body?” Hermione hissed through her teeth, her voice dangerously low. The furious look behind her gaze was enough to make him visibly shrink in his seat. “And while it is most definitely none of your goddamn business, I can confidently tell you that pregnancy certainly won’t be of concern.”</p><p>The youngest Weasley boy looked at her like she had just grown a second head right there in front of him. “How would you even know that?”</p><p>“I regularly take contraceptive potions,” she put it simply.</p><p>“What? Why? Why would you need that? Who are you shagging behind my back?!”</p><p>“I’m shagging no one behind your back, because we aren’t even together – get that through your thick head already!” she retorted angrily, snapping right back at him. “Also, <em>Ronald</em>, birth control is not only used to prevent pregnancy. It also regulates your cycle and keeps your hormone levels at bay, among other things. But, of course, a pinhead like you wouldn’t know that!”</p><p>The redhead noticeably squirmed at the mention of periods, and Hermione had to suppress the overwhelming urge to slap him. Her lips a thin line, she addressed the crowd.</p><p>“We all know that I’m the only viable option – either I do it or he dies.” Her voice sounded strained. “Besides, this is truly not something to be discussed with any of you here. If anything, this is between Professor Snape and I.”</p><p>Turning towards the Potions Master, she addressed him directly. “I’ll be in my bedroom on the first floor, sir. You’re welcome to stop by if you so wish so that we can talk about this … predicament in private.”</p><p>And with that, she stood up and left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading, I hope that you enjoyed! Please leave me a review if you have time, I'd really appreciate it. This is my first time dabbling in some smut, so hopefully, it will turn out okay in the end lol. I will be back soon with the next chapter of this short story &lt;3<br/>P.S. To any of my PFACL readers: Don’t worry, that story has definitely not been abandoned! I’m actually currently working on chapter 28, so be on the lookout for that as well in the near future ;-)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Doubt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Less than ten minutes later, there was a timid knock at her door, and Hermione would have been lying if she had said that that sound did not make her heart skip a beat.</p><p>Putting aside the book she’d been absentmindedly flicking through, she walked to the door with a rather stiff and unsteady gait before pulling it open to reveal the familiar figure of the Potions Master.</p><p>“Professor Snape,” she whispered breathlessly, trying hard to ignore the sudden lump in her throat. “Um, please, come in.”</p><p>Stepping aside, she watched as the man hesitantly took one cautious step into the crammed room; and the unusual sight of his visible wariness made her mentally smack her own forehead.</p><p>
  <em>Of course. He can’t see!</em>
</p><p>“Here, let me help you,” she offered, reaching out her hand without a moment’s thought. When she touched his forearm, he drew a sharp intake of breath. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you, sir.”</p><p>Snape did not say anything in response. For an agonizingly long time, they just stood like that in the doorway of her bedroom, her hand on his arm, the awkwardness in the air virtually palpable. It was only when there was suddenly the sound of commotion coming from downstairs that Hermione summoned up the nerve to pull him inside, locking the door behind them. Getting out her wand, she applied a silencing charm as well as some protective wards for good measure.</p><p>
  <em>Better safe than sorry. It certainly wouldn’t do any good to have someone just barge in.</em>
</p><p>Turning back around to face him, she tentatively grabbed his elbow and guided him towards her bed. She could not help but silently cringe as she saw him there, seated on her tiny twin-size bed, thinking about what might be happening soon in that very spot. But alas, her small bedroom, which she had moved into a mere two months earlier, did not offer any other sitting accommodations. And so, though her heart was trembling so very terribly, she went and sat next to him.</p><p>For a while, neither one of them spoke. Kneading her fingers, the young woman struggled to ignore how uncomfortably close she presently was to her former teacher as she stared out the window overlooking the deserted street outside. Looking back, she could not have said with certainty whether it had only been a few minutes or several hours, but by the time the streetlights came on, she finally plucked up the courage to say, “I’m glad that you decided to come here so that we can talk in private.”</p><p>“I did not have much of a choice,” Snape admitted huskily. “Alastor practically pushed me upstairs while Albus tried to contain everyone else in the kitchen.”</p><p>“They’re still not very thrilled about this, aren’t they?”</p><p>He gave an affirmative grunt. “Most of them were ready to jump at my throat and kill me with their bare hands right there and then.”</p><p>“Oh …” Hermione had to swallow hard. “I’m sorry. They really ought not to treat you like that.”</p><p>“I don’t blame them. I truly have half a mind to turn my own wand on myself.”</p><p>A troubled frown creased Hermione’s forehead. There was an obvious hint of blatant self-hatred dripping from his words, and she did not like that. She did not like that one bit.</p><p>But before she even had the chance to respond, he continued, “I will be honest with you … I do not even know what to say to you right now.”</p><p>Vaguely tracing the diamond pattern of the quilt they were sitting on with one finger, she tried her best to sound nonchalant as she mumbled, “Well, why don’t you simply tell me whether or not you accept my offer.”</p><p>“Miss Granger, I –”</p><p>“Would you mind if we used first names?” she interrupted him. “Just for today. It’s just that formalities would make this whole thing even weirder than it already is.”</p><p>She saw him hesitate for a second.</p><p>“All right … Hermione,” he ultimately conceded, and it was so weird to hear him properly address her by her given name for the very first time – though she had to admit that it sounded quite nice coming from his lips. Something about that deep voice of his made her stomach clench up into knots. “As much as I appreciate it, I obviously cannot accept your proposal.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Even forgetting the fact that you were my student for seven years and that I am a lot older than you, I could never in good faith make you endure such a thing. This, this <em>curse</em>,” he spat out the word with disgust. “Is a lot more powerful than you could ever even imagine. It would strip me of all control and force me to do unspeakable things to you that could very well destroy your sanity.”</p><p>He turned away from her in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his facial expression which was filled with nothing but self-loathing. “Even now, I can feel the dark magic coursing through my veins, tugging at my mind. It senses your presence. I can hear it whisper to me, bidding me to just rip off this stupid blindfold and take you right here. Merely sitting next to you already requires more will power than any time I have had to shield my mind from the Dark Lord.”</p><p>The witch’s breathing hitched in her throat. His crude confession made her heart beat so fast that it was almost threatening to break out of her ribcage. Willing herself to take a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to stay put.</p><p>
  <em>No. No, you can do this. For the Order. For Harry.</em>
</p><p>“I don’t believe that Professor Dumbledore would have sent you up here if he thought that there was a chance of me being seriously harmed,” she said softly, her eyes still closed. “And I also don’t believe that any kind of dark magic would ever be able to entirely overpower your morals and your good heart.”</p><p>He snorted with biting laughter. “Then you clearly do not know me well at all. Or him, for that matter. All that old madman cares about is the cause. We are all nothing but mere chess pieces in that little, rigged game of his he likes to play.”</p><p>“Don’t say that –”</p><p>“But it’s the truth! Don’t you see?” His tone gradually got louder and louder. “Any reasonably sane man in his position would have simply hired an unsuspecting prostitute, slipped her a couple of potions and then sent her back home with an altered memory and a nice, big bag filled to the brim with Galleons, blissfully unaware of any specifics. But not Albus. No, in his mind, raping the Muggle-born third of the Golden Trio is the perfect way to feign loyalty to the enemy and thus securing his plaything’s rank among the Dark Lord’s inner circle. Ha! As distraught as he might have acted, he knew from the beginning that you’d be the one to volunteer. Only you’d be foolish enough to let the greasy git of the dungeons fuck you in an attempt to save his pathetic, miserable life. You and your stupid saviour complex. So please, don’t be so naïve. This is all just a fucking charade to that bloody bedlamite!”</p><p>What followed that angry outburst was silence – complete and utter silence. Not even the rustling of the trees outside or the rapid palpitations inside both of their chests seemed to be able to penetrate their noiseless bubble. Hermione could feel her own pulse thumbing in her ears, and her mouth felt almost disgustingly dry. Wordlessly counting to a hundred, she at last opened her eyes and dared to cast a glance at the wizard. He was sitting in a hunched-over position, his face buried in his hands. Never before had she seen him like that, so evidently helpless, so vulnerable. For some reason, it nearly made her feel physically sick to witness him in such a state.</p><p>“I understand your apprehension, I really do,” she muttered gently. “I’m not quite keen on having to do this either. But I honestly don’t see any other way out of this mess. Somehow or the other, the curse must be broken … and time is running out.”</p><p>“I know,” he croaked out, the words muffled by his hands. </p><p>“And for all his faults, Professor Dumbledore is right. We cannot put ourselves before the cause. Especially not during dark times like these.” She could not stop her face from twisting into an anguished grimace. “Besides, I dare say that you are being a bit naïve yourself if you think that tricking a stranger would not weigh heavy on your conscience, too.”</p><p>Snape slowly lifted his head a little, allowing his chin to come to a rest on the pressed-together tips of his fingers, which were horribly stained from years of daily brewing.</p><p>“I don’t think that you are fully aware of what you are getting yourself into here. This would not be like any of your previous sexual encounters, Hermione. There would be no romance, no pleasure, no satisfaction. It would be hard and fast and downright animalistic.” He squared his shoulders. “And though I have never made it a habit to keep up with my students’ private lives, I do not think that it would be wrong of me to assume that an ever-busy academic like you most likely has little experience with such things.”</p><p>Hermione felt the warmth creep into the apples of her cheeks as her whole body stiffened, and that movement did not go unnoticed.</p><p>“I mean, you do have <em>some</em> experience, right?”</p><p>No answer.</p><p>“Oh god, you aren’t still a virgin, are you?” Snape rasped despairingly before letting his head fall back into his hands.</p><p>Hermione shifted her weight with unease. “I do not attach any value to my virginity if that is the problem, sir,” she was quick to assure him, glad to know that he could not see how awfully red-faced she was at that very instant. “When you think about it, it’s really nothing but a social construct. Will I be a different person afterwards? No. Will you be dead should I refuse? Most likely. So the decision is easy, really. The only reason why I … why I haven’t <em>done it</em> yet is because such a situation has simply never arisen before.”</p><p>“No! No, this is deranged!” he cried out as his entire body seized up and started to shake. “How could I ever live with myself knowing that I took something like that from you?”</p><p>She bit her lower lip. “I very much doubt that it would be that much better to wait for my first true love or maybe even just a drunken night out to come around first,” she argued with furrowed brows. “Because even in that case, it would be awkward and fumbling and, in all likelihood, disappointing. With you, now, it would at least serve a bigger purpose. It would be special – in its own absurd way.”</p><p>“I can’t,” he whispered in a quivering voice.</p><p>Suddenly feeling bold, Hermione grabbed his wrists and pulled his arms towards her, forcing him to face her.</p><p>“You don’t have a choice,” she told him in a beseeching yet stern manner. “You are far too valuable to the Order to stupidly risk your life like this.”</p><p>Snape opened his mouth as though to say something in response, but then he quickly closed it again. Pulling free from her grasp, he leaned back until his shoulders were touching the wall against which her bed had been pushed. He looked like a picture of misery. His complexion was of a deathly pale colour, his jaw was clenched, and a few beads of sweat could be seen running down his forehead.</p><p>“I do not want to do anything against your will,” he insisted weakly.</p><p>“I wouldn’t be too concerned about that if I were you. I –“ She dithered for just a second. <em>Come on, Hermione. Don’t lose him now.</em> “I am rather physically attracted to you.”</p><p>His head jerked up in surprise. “You are?”</p><p>“Y-yes,” she replied bashfully, all at once feeling dreadfully shy. “I find you quite handsome, actually.”</p><p>She was not lying just to make him feel better either. Truth be told, she’d had a slight fascination with him ever since he took over the Defence Against the Dark Arts position during her sixth year, when his passion for the subject really started to shine through – particularly during his more physical demonstrations.</p><p>Still, she was glad when he did not ask her to elaborate any further. Watching as he ran a tremulous hand through his jet-black hair, she heard him say, “Surely you are aware of the fact that some men would not take kindly to the fact that you are not chaste anymore?”</p><p>“Good!” Hermione huffed exasperatedly. “If they truly measure my worth as a person by who I have given my body to, then I’d rather have them think of me as used goods and leave me alone all together.”</p><p>“And what about Weasley?”</p><p>She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “What about him?”</p><p>“He seemed … very much opposed to the idea.”</p><p>“Oh, he can sod right off!” she snarled angrily, leaping to her feet. “I don’t want anything from him. I never have.”</p><p>Walking the short distance to her nearby dressing table, she pulled open one of its drawers and fished out a black hair tie which she then used to fasten her brown curls into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. Checking her appearance in the half-tarnished mirror, she could see the man rub his hands across his thighs in obvious discomfort.</p><p>“It could hurt,” he said in what sounded like a last-ditch effort to keep from having to yield himself to his fate.</p><p>Turning around, her mouth twisted into a wry smile. </p><p>“I’m sure that I have experienced worse,” she told him calmly, and for a moment, neither one of them said anything. Hermione sat back down next to him. “But like I said, I don’t think you’d ever be actively out to hurt me. I trust you, you know?”</p><p>Even though they were mostly hidden behind the blindfold, she could still see his eyebrows lift in surprise. It was abundantly clear that even the mere notion of someone like her trusting someone like him seemed utterly unfathomable to the dark wizard.</p><p>There was another short moment of heavy silence. Then, a deep sigh escaping his lips, he finally asked, “Are you really sure?”</p><p>The tone of his voice nearly broke her heart. He was normally such an assertive and stern man, but now he just sounded so defeated. It made for an easy choice.</p><p>“Yes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor, poor Severus – he sure always manages to find himself in peculiar situations, doesn’t he? ;-)<br/>Please do make sure to let me know your thoughts in the comments!</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Discomfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hermione nearly winced when the sudden sticky sweetness of the contraceptive potion flooded her mouth, coating her tongue in a thin film that tasted of artificial cherry flavour.</p>
<p>“Is this really necessary?” she croaked weakly after she had forced herself to choke down the syrupy liquid. “I’m telling you, I buy my potions solely from licensed apothecaries. I can even show you the bottles if you want.”</p>
<p>“I know. I just … I tend to not trust what I have not brewed myself,” Snape muttered quietly as he pulled yet another phial out of the pocket of his coat and made to hand it to her.</p>
<p>But Hermione did not take it. She instead eyed the small crystalline container with suspicion, trying to discern the shimmering, carmine-coloured concoction inside it.</p>
<p>“A pain relief potion?” she asked in disbelief once her sharp mind had narrowed down the choice. “Now, surely that’s excessive!”</p>
<p>Snape did not say anything in response. His head tilted downward towards the floor so that she could not quite see his face, he simply held out the phial to her with one arm.</p>
<p>Hermione bit the inside of her cheeks. Under normal circumstances, there would be no way that she would ever ingest any magical substance without first verifying its exact purpose and possible effects. Merlin forbid she should accidentally consume anything poisonous or – perhaps even worse – Veritaserum. Of course, she did not believe that Snape would try to slip her anything that could do her harm. Not only had she not been lying when she had told him that she trusted him, but she also thought him wise enough not to try anything nefarious when there were several very angry people lurking around Grimmauld Place at this very moment who were, in the literal sense of the word, out for blood. However, even though she had let herself be persuaded by the wizard to drink a contraceptive potion from his personal stock, she thought that pre-emptive pain relief was taking it a bit too far for some reason. She did not even want to imagine why he deemed it necessary for her to take it; otherwise, she might just bolt out of the room in fear.</p>
<p>Still, ever the brave Gryffindor, Hermione remained exactly where she was, sitting on her rickety bed in her dimly lit room in her necessity-driven new home, right next to her former professor, their legs touching just ever so slightly. Her brain was in overdrive. It was only now that she realised the absurdity of the fact that Professor Snape would even happen to have contraceptives on hand. She would expect any Potions Master worth their salt to carry a basic array of potions with them at all times, of course; and she could definitely see how analgesics would be indispensable to a double agent. But contraceptives? Really? Did Snape truly walk around with those sorts of potions on his person, too? But then again, she reckoned that the unpredictability and the danger which followed him like shadows required him to always be prepared for anything life might throw at him. So maybe having contraceptives close at hand was not as weird as it may have seemed at first glance – after all, they had just found themselves in a situation where they were needed, hadn’t they? The thought alone made Hermione’s heart ache. That man beside her really did spend every second expecting the worst. He was obviously very well aware of the fact that he himself was the only person he could truly rely on, and so he made sure to gird himself for all possibilities. She struggled to imagine how he must be feeling right now, with his fate quite literally depending on her mercy. So how could she deny his unspoken request to ease his mind just a little? How could she refuse his wish to at least somewhat mitigate the potential aftermath of what was to come?</p>
<p>“Fine,” she therefore finally relented as she snatched the phial out of his hand and uncorked it. “If it makes you feel better.”</p>
<p>She brought the bottle up to her lips, tilted its bottom heavenward and, having learnt her lesson, downed the potion in one big gulp. All the same, a nasty, acidic aftertaste clung to her teeth. Hermione then banished the two now empty phials to her nightstand with a quick wandless spell, and then the room was silent.</p>
<p>“You should know,” Snape uttered at last, breaking the quiet. “That I am not entirely certain on the specifics of the curse. I had heard vague whisperings about it during the First War, and as far as I know, they never managed to figure out how to make the effects permanent. But of course, I cannot be sure that they never succeeded in their endeavours. So I want you to keep your wand at the ready just in case.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Hermione replied softly.</p>
<p>“I mean it,” he insisted. “If the curse is not immediately broken, promise me … promise me that you will do whatever is necessary to incapacitate me.”</p>
<p>He turned towards her and looked at her with his unseeing eyes. “Put me in shackles or hex me into oblivion if you must. Just … do not let me leave this room to wreak havoc on the world.”</p>
<p>Hermione was at a loss for words. It was like an invisible rope had wrapped itself around her neck, constricting her throat. The patent desperation in his voice made her skin crawl.</p>
<p>“Promise me!” Snape demanded more forcefully this time, yelling almost; and his right hand found her knee, digging its digits into her flesh.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay!” Hermione cried out, the dull pain of his fingers grasping her thigh partially obscured by the foreign sensation of having him touch her so intimately for the very first time. “I promise!”</p>
<p>At her compliance, Snape loosened his grip; however, he did not let go completely. His hand remained on her leg, unmoving, and Hermione thought it strangely titillating.</p>
<p>“S-so how do you want to do this?” she asked, trying hard to ignore the unfamiliar prickling feeling which was starting to spread inside her belly. “Are you just going to pull off the blindfold now?”</p>
<p>“No. I will remove it at the last possible moment so as to minimise the effects. The curse should be broken upon, err, culmination, so I would think it best to take it off right before then.”</p>
<p>“Oh. All right …”</p>
<p>Hermione’s face felt awfully hot all of the sudden; though she did not know whether that was by reason of having an ex-teacher talk so frankly about sexual intercourse in front of her or rather the way his thumb had begun to slowly draw lazy circles on her thigh.</p>
<p>“You are aware of the fact that all of this will in all probability not stay between us? The Dark Lord will want to know how I accomplished the task of breaking the curse.”</p>
<p>“That much I figured. So … you will tell him that it was me?”</p>
<p>“I will have to. I will also most likely be forced to share my memories of it with him.”</p>
<p>Hermione could not stifle the gasp that escaped her lips. Nearly stupefied with horror, she whispered, “You what?”</p>
<p>“He will want to see, Hermione. He always does. He seems to get enjoyment out of watching his loyal subjects cause mayhem and distress to others,” answered Snape in a low voice, his thumb stilling in its movement. “Though I will be sure to only show him the very end of it. And you have my word that I will try my best to … make it as unrevealing as possible.”</p>
<p>Hermione felt tears of embarrassment swell up in her eyes. The mere notion of her first sexual experience being showcased to the most vile and ruthless wizard of all time was nothing short of humiliating. It was already bad enough that their fellow Order members knew what she and Snape were about to do. She could hardly bear the thought of having to face Harry, Ron and all the others once this was all over, of having to look them in the eyes knowing that <i>they</i> would know. However, the fact that not only would the tale of her deflowering be a highlight of the next Death Eater meeting but also that the act itself would be mentally witness by He Who Must Not Be Named himself made her want to hide away from the world forever. She let out a strangled sob.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?” asked Snape with obvious concern, the hand on her knee twitching.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I just –, I –” She used the sleeve of her jumper to frantically wipe away the tears which had rolled down her reddened cheeks, leaving behind scorching hot trails on her skin. “I’m sorry. J-just give me a minute to pull myself together.”</p>
<p>“Hermione, you do not have to go through with this if you do not want to. In no way will I bear you any ill will if you back out now.” Snape turned until most of his right leg was resting on top off the bed, making him face her more directly. The shift in position caused his hand to travel up her thigh a little bit, and despite her current state of near hysteria, this still made Hermione’s heart skip a beat. The warm feeling inside her stomach was spreading at a rapid rate now. “I know that this is asking a lot of you. Please do not think that you must do this for my sake.”</p>
<p>Looking up at the ceiling, Hermione blinked several times until the tears finally stopped flowing. Willing herself to take a few deep breaths, she waited until she felt composed enough to say, “I’m not backing out. It’s just … knowing that –, that he is going to watch … it’s mortifying.”</p>
<p>Snape frowned. “I know. Believe me, I do not expect you to ever forgive me for any of this.”</p>
<p>Hermione gave him a weak smile. It was weird somehow to smile at him; it was not something she could remember ever doing before. And even though he could not see her do it, it still felt a bit strange.</p>
<p>“It’s not your fault.”</p>
<p>“But it is,” he said with a sigh. “If I had not so stupidly let my curiosity get the better of me, I would have never touched that bloody artifact and we would have never even been in this situation to begin with.”</p>
<p>Hermione furrowed her brows. “Well, there is nothing we can do about it now.”</p>
<p>Snape made a strange noise that almost sounded like a chuckle. “Right … I guess not.”</p>
<p>What followed was a long silence, during which neither one of them said anything. At some point, Snape’s thumb continued its ministrations, gently rubbing across her denim-clad upper leg in a soothing manner. However, Hermione barely even noticed the renewed movement, as she had a thousand thoughts running through her mind. It was obvious that at some point, the mood inside the room had shifted. Now that they had said what needed to be said – now that all cards were on the table – the next step was obvious: they needed to actually break the curse. Hermione had been truthful when she had told him that she was not going to bottle out. Unfortunately, he had not been completely mistaken when accusing her of having a saviour complex. Despite her nervousness, her inherent determination to help others no matter the cost prevented her from even entertaining the idea of backpedalling now. She could not in good conscience allow the curse to either have Snape attack an innocent person or perhaps, if not broken at all, sentence him to death. Still, merely imagining the things which were about to happen made her feel almost light-headed.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, she was not only still a virgin, but she also did not have much experience with the opposite sex in general. A short romantic escapade with Viktor Krum three years ago, which had been limited to some rather uncoordinated snogging hidden behind the tall shelves of the Hogwarts library, was pretty much the extent of her sexual expertise. She knew how it all worked in theory, of course – after all, there were countless books on the topic. But having spent the majority of her teenage years involved in a war, she had never given much thought to how or especially to whom she would eventually lose her virginity. She certainly would have never expected it to happen with Professor Snape, much less in such a peculiar manner. Obviously, she trusted him not to maliciously cause her any harm; however, though she had previously denied it, she was in actuality afraid that the curse would indeed rob him of all self-control and turn all of this into mere violence. Besides, how was it even meant to go down anyway? Was she just supposed to pull down her knickers, spread her legs wide open and wait for him to take from her what he needed? Would he even be able to simply perform or would he expect her to help him – for lack of a better word – <i>rise to the occasion</i>? She cringed at the thought of her unexperienced hands trying desperately to stimulate him somehow, of having him bark orders at her in his stern teacher voice and –</p>
<p>“May I … kiss you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My deepest apologies for the awfully long wait; however, my life has been crazy busy lately. Moreover, this scene simply proved a lot more difficult to put together than I had originally thought it would be. In fact, I ended up having to split it into two parts, since it just got so, so terribly long that I could no longer justify it being just one chapter lol. I hope you understand! Hopefully, I will be able to upload the final installment of our little story within the next few days or so, and yep, you've guessed it: that's when we finally get to the smut!<br/>As always, thank you so much for reading and leaving me your comments! Make sure to check out my profile for more of my writing &lt;3</p>
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